Apparently Still Recovering That Sense of Identity

I pretty much effed off this week and did not begin Week 3. I continued with my morning pages, yet couldn't seem to bring myself to start the next week. And maybe it's for the best that I spent more time on recovering a sense of identity; Through my pages, I noticed lot of stuff coming up for me in how I identify myself and relate to others. I suppose I'm redefining myself now that I am no longer a wife. For better or worse (all pun intended), I found myself very defined as "Mrs. Gadget". That was an identity I knew how to wear and wore it well.

Now I'm in the process of redefining and rebuilding. The interesting thing about this process is that it's nothing new, it's the drawing out of the woman I've always been. It's just time to let her come out and stand on her own two feet.

But oh, how I miss those vermillion walls...

Week 2: Recovering a Sense of Identity

I'm a bit behind on my documenting!

"This week addresses self-definition as a major component of creative recovery. You may find yourself drawing new boundaries or staking out new territories as your personal needs, desires, and interests announce themselves. The essays and tools are aimed at moving you into your personal identity, a self defined you."

In the past few years I've become aware of how susceptible I am to my surroundings. I thrive when in a environment I find beautiful or inspiring and seemingly shut down in environments I deem otherwise. This week, Julia Cameron talked about how we don't need huge blocks of time to create the life we want. We can start by making little changes here and there. I realized that while I may want new light fixtures in the office, bedroom, and bathroom, a new rug for the living room, that chic sofa from CB2, side tables to flank it, a fabulous custom-upholstered chair, side table for said fabulous custom-upholstered chair, a two-tiered coffee table, new carpeting in the bedroom, and art on all my walls, I could start to beautify my home by unpacking the still-packed moving boxes, organizing my book shelves, and putting my spring linens on the bed.

This also applies to my life as a musician. I typically need a day's worth of solitude to really get into my groove with songwriting. I'm seeing how ineffective that is, and that I'm very capable of banging out an awesome tune piece-by-piece with whatever spare moments I have. And honestly, I have a lot of spare moments. I just get pissy when they're not all stacked on top of each other.

I've already unpacked one of those moving boxes and even reorganized my bookshelf, which has done wonders for my psyche. Still needs some work, although I'm pretty pleased, considering it took 15 minutes.

Before
After

Artist Date #1: Mercury Glass

I read about a technique for turning glass into "aged mercury glass" in the January issue of Martha Stewart Living and had been anxious to test it out. I needed to create centerpieces for my best friend's baby shower, so it seemed like the perfect time to get creative and unleash my artist.

My date began at Goodwill (classy, I know), where I bought $4.47 worth of glasses. I got three vases from my bestie and promised her that they would come back to her more beautiful than ever. I had bought the spray paint earlier in the week from Michael's. Finding the specific paint was an adventure in itself...more on that later. I felt like I was on a mission - and I really like missions - a creative mission that had to be completed before the rest of the world came banging on my door with "pay the bills, cook dinner, return that phone call, follow up on email, find guitarist, wash the car", and all that other nasty junk that piles up in the way of my creative process.

The technique was simple, although I modified it a bit to get better results. I had such a great time getting messy and creating something beautiful. Admittedly, I wondered why I didn't let myself do stuff like this more often. All and all, a great date!




Martha Stewart's Instant Antique Technique (With Notes by Liz)

Tools and Materials
Glass candleholders
Vases
Picture frames with glass
Spray bottle with water
Mirror paint (krylon.com). The paint is called Krylon Looking Glass Mirror-Like Paint. Call stores ahead of time to see if they carry it.
Drying rack (I used the rack from inside the microwave)

The How-To
Work on a protected surface in a well-ventilated area. Outside is best!
Clean glass before starting.
Cover vessels' exteriors with paper, or remove glass from frame. spray interiors of vessels or frame glass lightly with water. 1 spritz does the trick.
Then spray with mirror paint (the water will make the paint mottled).
I found that the spray was pooling on the bottoms of the vessels, so I turned them on their sides and gently rotated them, letting the paint coat the interior. It made authentic looking aging streaks and coated the glass much better.
Turn vessels upside down on a drying rack (so air circulates inside).
Continue to reapply mirror spray. Krylon recommends 5 coats.
Let dry completely, at least overnight. Repeat if too sheer.
For flowers, arrange in a glass and place the glass inside the vase. Candles can be placed directly inside.

...and breathe.

It's been quite a while, and if you don't know why, well now you still don't.

Before I hit the studio to write "The More I Want, The More I Get", I started the journey of The Artist's Way. I finked out and didn't make it through week 9. I realized a couple weeks ago that if I got so much out of completing eight weeks, I probably ripped myself off by not going through to the twelfth. And so I decided to take the journey again, and this time I'm committed to finishing.

I thought it would be fun to document my creative journey into the depths of my inner artist, so I returned to this blog. I'm in the midst of week one, and definitely need support in sticking with the process. My Artist's Date was scheduled for yesterday, and I canceled on myself because there were "more important things to do". Lame! I've rescheduled for tomorrow, and I will protect that time from all interlopers!

Down the rabbit hole I go...

Shorter! Shorter!

My hair, that is...

And Now for Something Completely Different...

My hair got long all of a sudden! I can put it in a pony tail again. The red lipstick is just cuz I was feeling spunky.

I'm getting ma hurr did by the fabulous Miss Maria on Friday in preparation for my headshots on Sunday cuz these roots have got to go! I've actually gotten to the point in my career where I need headshots; this is so weird. When I was 13 years old, my chorus conductor/theater instructor told me, "you're a wonderful actress; it's a shame you can't sing". So what did I do? I said "Fuck acting! I'll show you who can't sing, bitch!" and pursued music with feverish enthusiasm.

I suppose I've come full circle, back to acting once again. And not even by my own doing, or so it feels. I don't really know where this road will lead, however it's become apparent that I can no longer ignore all the signs screaming for me to venture off in this direction. For the first time in a long time, I'm going with the flow. Trusting the process, so to speak.

In some strange twist of fate, Breaker is actually performing for an indie film tonight. It's a comedy about a dufus who sets out to for a rock band, but has no idea what he's doing and keeps failing miserably. he interviews Breaker as "the real band who's really made it" to find out what worked in creating our success. I'm really looking forward to it!

On that note, I should go get my fabulous self ready for another fun-filled night of rock n' roll mayhem.

Lady GaGa at the Much Music Awards.

She's really more of a performance artist than a singer...I mean check out this awesome flaming boobie contraption:


It's been ages since an artist has inspired me the way that GaGa does. Lady GaGa makes me want to be the bestest, most badass version of myself and unleash it for all the world to see. Between her infectious pop melodies, unforgettable attire, and dazzling performances, she really ups the ante for everyone in the music biz. Check out her performance at the Much Music Awards and tell me I'm wrong, fool:

Breaker - The More I Want, The More I Get

After nearly two years of blood, sweat, and tears (and good times, and booze, and excess, and free-flowing mojo, and insane amounts of laughter...) the day is finally here: the long-awaited release of Breaker's debut album, The More I Want, The More I Get.

If you'd like to treat yourself to some badass rock music with a whole lotta' soul, or if you simply want to support a hard-working rock n' roller who has devoted her life to making the world a more music place, then please click on the link below and purchase Breaker's debut album, The More I Want, The More I Get.

10% of the sale of this record is being donated to the Fender Music Foundation in an effort to provide funding and resources for music programs across America. I know that had it not been for the wonderful music and arts programs in my elementary and middle schools, I would probably be on the fast track to a slow death. No joke. By purchasing The More I Want, The More I Get, you're giving kids and adults across the country the opportunity to experience the joys of music. Thank you for your contribution!!!

Good Morning, Rock Star.

I woke up today with good bed-head and just the right amount of leftover make-up. I love it when that happens.


Yesterday was rad. I had a phone interview with GreenMan for Galaxy Net Radio. I was on the air for an hour, and our chatting sessions were only interrupted by badass rock n' roll...Breaker, of course. We played 4 songs and I got to tell the listeners a bit about each song. Oh, the secrets I reveal in songform.

Following the GreenMan interview, I met up with the rest of Breaker at Flashrock Studios in NoHo. We got on the air at about 9 with the uber-cool radio host, Darin. After playing a few Breaker tracks and talking an inordinate amount about cock, we split for rehearsal.

Being that it was Curtis's birthday, a celebration was in order. Following a rockin' rehearsal, we headed over to Big Wangs where we stuffed our faces and watched Mary Carey get her snatch stuffed. For real. The chick was getting fingerbanged in the next booth. Classy!

But enough about the past - there's so much to look forward to! Off to create a funbundant day!

My First Birthday Present of the Year!

My birthday is next week, but don't worry, I'll be accepting gifts all week long ;) Check out this rockin' baseball jersey I got from my family in New York. It belonged to my brother, Anthony, who is quite the sportsman. I got both red and navy blue, along with a beautiful bracelet. Something about sporting my bro's name on my back just tickles my fancy.

More Eight-Armed Goodness.

As I stated over at EverythingOctopus.com, this is like the octopus deal of the decade! I have seen this little guy floating around on the web for a while, but never for such a great price. I got this adorable necklace for only $7.99 from Ebay seller, Skorbee.


Ain't my little octopus a cutie?

BREAKER "The More I Want, The More I Get" Record Release Party!

The day is finally here!!! Join us for the release of our debut album, "The More I Want, The More I Get" at TRiP! Our CD and a ton of cool merch will be available as well as some extra special goodies for Breaker fans and friends.

Also playing: A Race Called Man, The Mayberrys, Smales. 21+, $6 w/ flyer, $8 without. FREE parking and full bar. What’s not to love? Print & bring the flyer below for discounted admission. Rock on!

Another Fun BREAKER Photoshoot!

Breaker needed new photos both to showcase our newest member, G Herrera on drums, and to have some snazzy pix of our sexiness for the album art. After the photographer we had been planning on working with bailed, my bestie came to the rescue and did an impromptu photo shoot. Here's a out-takes that I thoroughly enjoy:

Voodoo, Hoodoo, and Santeria at the Congregation Gallery

I'm not feeling very prolific at the moment. Best let the pictures tell the story...

I'm Obsessed with Matt and Kim

Here's a review of the Brooklyn duos sophomore album, Grand, from Spin magazine:

Matt and Kim (their real names) come on like a punked-up Mates of State -- a couple so cute that you'd walk away from their frantic live shows feeling mushy, if someone hadn't just mushed you. But the love songs on their second album are for their home borough of Brooklyn as much as for each other. The tap-dancing keyboards and pounding drums of "Daylight" and "Don't Slow Down" soundtrack the duo's reflections on what it's like to be poor and young in the city, where your fire escape is your backyard and your summer wardrobe is your spring wardrobe plus scissors.

Occupation: Rock Star

I don't normally get up this early, however today is a very special occasion. I'm about to head downtown to pay a visit to Trinity Street Elementary School for "Career Day".

Honestly, I've been looking forward to this day all year. Last time I felt so inspired and uplifted by spending the morning with children who have hopes and dreams unbound that I immediately agreed to return for the next opportunity.

When I was in elementary school I wanted to be an artist. After telling my grandma of my dream, she told me in a grave voice that artists starve. I had this vision of myself huddled around a dying fire in a makeshift lean-to, wearing a ratty old blanket for warmth. I was dirty and covered in paint splatters. I had nothing but the clothes on my back and a whole shit ton of colorful canvases, paints, and brushes.

From that moment forward, whenever a grown-up asked me what I wanted to be, I'd say a veterinarian. Not because I no longer wanted to be an artist, and certainly not because I wanted to be a vet, but because I didn't want other people to think of me starving. I thought I would just go be an artist anyway and starve in secret. It didn't have to be any of their business.

Today my goal is to provide the kids with the belief that anything is possible and that they can be, do, and have whatever it is they want. Cuz guess what? I know a lot of well-fed artists. And I know a lot of grown-ups with good, safe 9-to-5 jobs who are starving for a taste of life.

New Octopus Bling!

While Mystic and I were kicking around NYC's garment district in search of fabulous trim, we stumbled upon a little jewelry store with a whole lotta' bling in the front window. Sure the shiny sparkly stuff lured us to the window, but it was this cutie patooty octopus ring that invited us in.


The octopus has died, the octopus has risen, the octopus will come again.

Rest Peacefully, Bea.

My Golden Girl, Bea Arthur, passed away this morning after a long battle with cancer. She was 86 years old.



I'll love you forever, Bea! Thank you for being a friend...

Love is Blonde.

After three months of my colorful chocolate swirl, I decided it was time for something a bit more simplified...and a bit more drastic. I went to see Bryan at Floyd's on Melrose with only one idea in mind: blonde.

A couple hours and chemical burns later, I went from my Chocolate n' Sherbert Mash-up...




...to Blonde Bombshell:

BREAKER Loves Fresno!

In the controlled chaos of the past week, I neglected to share the fantabulous pictures Mystic took for Breaker when we played Fresno. First of all, lemme' just say that Fresno knows how to ROCK - wow, what an amazing crowd! Needless, to say I sang my heart out and had a blast!