There's No Rhyme for My Reason.

Well, it certainly has been a while. And not for any lack of adventure. The past couple weeks have been jam-packed with good times and lots of changes. Have I ever mentioned that I love change? It just means new opportunities are coming my way.

Since I last posted, I bought a fabulous new car (an '09 Scion xD), went National Park hopping throughout Utah and Arizona, played in Vegas, roadtripped up to Clearlake, approved the final mixes for the Breaker album, and put an offer in on a supercute house that I can totally see myself living in. 

My mom is coming in from Maine tonight and we'll be heading up north for a week. Before we leave I'm thinking about chopping all my hair off.  We'll see how that goes...

For now, I'm off to enjoy the breakfast of champions: shells and white cheddar. "Macaroni and cheese" just sounds so trashy. And so orange!

May the iguana be with you.

Killola: I am The Messer - FREE!!!

Ever hear of anything as rad as an awesome indie band making their entire album FREE to download? Yeah, I didn't think so.

Download "I am The Messer" now - Killola serves it raw!

Get some:

My Custom Heil PR-22 Microphone Has Arrived!

...and boy, is she beautiful. Behold, excalibur:The real fun will start when I hit the stage with this baby. Speaking of which, I am fiending, man! I am ready to get out of the studio and onto the stage. When Dean gets back from Warped Tour we'll continue auditions. I'm looking for the right people to bring this beast to life on stage. 

I'm really psyched about the quality - both sonic and visual - of this mic, and am already planning my next custom jobs. Get yer own Heil! Make some noise!

Now let us go in peace to love and serve the iguana...

Custom Heil Microphone on the Way!

Got word today from Bob Heil that my custom camouflage Heil PR-22 microphone has been shipped! She should be here in a couple days. The picture on the left is a stock PR-22; Mine will be a badass camo beast. I'd like to add a couple custom PR-35s to my arsenal as well - I'm thinking candy apple red and a Vegas-esque golden glitter. I'll post a pic of the new mic once it arrives.

This was my rebound mic after getting fed up with the thin sound and constant feedback of the Shure SM-58. I had to dump that bitch and get cozy with the clean, natural tone of the PR-22. Then the PR-35 ended up in my hands. "Could this be love?" I wondered. The thing cut through all the loud stage noise and delivered my voice in a clean, clear, and smooth style that left me screaming for more...literally. I love singing through that thing!

Anywho, I went with the PR-22 for my first custom mic. We'll see how she shows up and how she holds up.

Jeez...When did I become such a gear geek?

The Sexy Old Man Discount.

I've been meaning to tell this tale for quite some time now...

A couple months ago I was in the studio and noticed Dean was wearing this amazing admiral's jacket. When I asked him about it, he told me he got it at Dragonfly on Melrose and that the little old Asian dude who works there told him, "Next time, call me 'sexy old man' and I give you a discount". I remembered the little old man. He had helped Dan and I during a shopping spree a while back. He was very sweet, but there was no discount. I was intrigued by Dean's story. I like Dragonfly and I like discounts. This sounded like something worth exploring.

About a week later I found myself on Melrose. I poked in and out of a few stores, bought some killer pants at Forgotten Saints, then decided I was ready to take the plunge. I walked into Dragonfly and saw him standing there. 

I tossed my head back, threw open my arms, and said "Hey, sexy old man!" in a very sexalicious voice. 

He gave me a big hug and said, "You called me 'sexy old man', you know what that means?" 

I played coy, "No, what does it mean?"

"It means you get 50% off anything you purchase today."

Hell yes.

I let him bring me all sorts of fabulous things to try on, and we chatted the whole time. I got to hear about his daughter at MIT, his views on the recession, and his tastes in music. I told him about Breaker, my Jeep, and shopping in NYC. I tired on 6 or 7 tops and what I ended up liking was a $66 t-shirt and a $180 sailor-style hoodie. I had my doubts about the discount - 50% seemed like a lot. Then as I was about to bring my goods over to the register he said, "and for you, no tax". Ok, now I was in shock. Was this for real? He went over to the calculator, punched in some numbers, and looked disappointed. "I knew it was too good to be true", I thought.

Then he said, "we can do better discount for t-shirt. Half is $33, how about I charge you $26?" Can I get a hell yes? What would have ended up costing $266.29 only cost $116. No joke. Just for using three magic words - SEXY OLD MAN! 

I gave him a great big hug goodbye and thanked him for a wonderful shopping experience. I kept smiling to myself the whole way home: He made my day by giving me a great discount on some killer clothes, and I made his day simply by calling him a sexy old man. 

I love this world and all of it's wonders.

Auditioning Band Members.

The purpose of this post is two-fold: First, I want to vent my frustration with the many hacks there are out there who show up to auditions and waste people's time. Second, I want to enlighten musicians who are interested in not being hacks as to what being properly prepared for an audition should look like.

Deep breath in...hold it...exhale with a sigh. Ok, that's more like it. So, I had my first round of Breaker auditions the other night and encountered a nightmare of a time vampire. A drummer showed up to audition, and at first everything seemed fine; we jammed a little, he had tight talent, a good look, and then he admitted: he didn't bother to learn the songs, citing "not enough time" as his reason. I sent this guy 3 verse/chorus snippets which totaled about 3 minutes worth of music. He had 3 days to learn the parts. Now let me ponder this, "You couldn't be bothered to learn the songs for your audition because you didn't have enough time? And I should consider you to be a member in this band why?" Not only was it a waste of my time, it was also a waste of my producer's time, the engineer who's cab-ride I paid for so we'd have someone to run sound, and the other dude auditioning, who had to be rushed out for this douche-bag drummer. And even after telling us he didn't know the songs, he went on to state how great of a band Breaker is and that he would be a perfect fit and looks forward to jamming again. Smokecrackmuch?

Tips for Effectively Auditioning for a Band

1. Learn Everything You Can About The Band
One thing that really impressed me about our first auditionee is that he knew our history inside and out, and wasn't shy about asking questions. Find out the answers to these questions prior to auditioning: How long has the band been together? What are their goals? Are they planning on playing locally? Touring? Heading into the studio to record? How often will rehearsals be? Where will rehearsals be held? What are the other members' musical influences? What direction is the music taking? Are you replacing someone? Why is he no longer with the band?

2. Get Clear on What You're Expected to Play
Some bands may want you to learn covers, others may want you to know their originals. Be clear before your audition what songs you are expected to learn and LEARN THEM.

3. Get Clear on What Equipment To Bring
Are you auditioning in a rehearsal studio? A recording studio? A garage? Guitarists and Bassists: Do you need your full rig? Any effects pedals? Which axe will work best with the band's sound? Drummers: Do you need to bring your own kit? Snare drum? bass drum pedal? Drum throne? Any special cymbals for certain songs?

4. Get There Early
Show up 15 minutes early to allow time for setup. This also gives you the opportunity to meet the people you'll be playing with before plugging in. When you're exactly on time or late, the whole event will be rushed as many bands are on a tight schedule during auditions. The worst thing you can do is let the band wait while you run late with your setup. Being on time and prepared will often earn you extra points!

5. Watch Your Levels
The way a musician's sound and volume mix with the rest of the band is a very good indicator of his caliber of musicianship. You don't want to be so loud that you're drowning out the vocals, and you don't want to be so soft that nobody can hear what the heck you're playing. Blend appropriately with the other instruments.

6. Don't Point Out Your Mistakes
Most of the time, nobody will notice them except you - you are often your harshest critic. Drawing attention to your mistakes by constantly apologizing for them will only make you look like a hack and will quickly get on people's nerves. Sometimes when mistakes are noticed, it may just sound like you're putting your own mark on the music, and most bands are cool with that. Also, most bands understand that it may take a couple rehearsals for you to iron out all the kinks.

7. Look the Part
Duh. When auditioning for a band, look like you belong there. Dress in a way that enhances or fits in with the band's image. Bands have you audition in person, not only to hear you play, but also to see how you show up and to make sure you're a good visual fit.

8. Be Excited!
This one may sound like a no brainer, but you'd be surprised how many people are out there with rotten attitudes. A little excitement goes a long way. The thought of living in a cramped bus for three months with a guy who can't be bothered to smile is horrifying. Being genuine and enthusiastic and grateful for the opportunity to audition will, in many cases, get you a callback for a second audition. Personality goes a long way in the music industry.

9. Create Chemistry
Make it a point to meet everyone in the band and get to know as much about them as you can in the time you are given. When you're playing, play like you're part of the group, instead of some jive-ass robot jamming along to the stereo. Chemistry between band-mates is essential for a band's success and longevity. Create that feeling at your audition and you're sure to make a great impression.

10. Give the Band Time and Space to Talk About You
This one usually freaks people out. Sometimes people are sold after hearing one song, other times they need to discuss your audition before making a decision. This is perfectly reasonable. In "band speak", "we'll get back to you", means "please leave now", and it's not a bad thing. In many instances, time is tight and they have to get prepared for the next guy to audition. Instead of hanging around, simply say "thank you", and be on your way. If you're right for the band, they will call you.