Auditioning Band Members.

The purpose of this post is two-fold: First, I want to vent my frustration with the many hacks there are out there who show up to auditions and waste people's time. Second, I want to enlighten musicians who are interested in not being hacks as to what being properly prepared for an audition should look like.

Deep breath in...hold it...exhale with a sigh. Ok, that's more like it. So, I had my first round of Breaker auditions the other night and encountered a nightmare of a time vampire. A drummer showed up to audition, and at first everything seemed fine; we jammed a little, he had tight talent, a good look, and then he admitted: he didn't bother to learn the songs, citing "not enough time" as his reason. I sent this guy 3 verse/chorus snippets which totaled about 3 minutes worth of music. He had 3 days to learn the parts. Now let me ponder this, "You couldn't be bothered to learn the songs for your audition because you didn't have enough time? And I should consider you to be a member in this band why?" Not only was it a waste of my time, it was also a waste of my producer's time, the engineer who's cab-ride I paid for so we'd have someone to run sound, and the other dude auditioning, who had to be rushed out for this douche-bag drummer. And even after telling us he didn't know the songs, he went on to state how great of a band Breaker is and that he would be a perfect fit and looks forward to jamming again. Smokecrackmuch?

Tips for Effectively Auditioning for a Band

1. Learn Everything You Can About The Band
One thing that really impressed me about our first auditionee is that he knew our history inside and out, and wasn't shy about asking questions. Find out the answers to these questions prior to auditioning: How long has the band been together? What are their goals? Are they planning on playing locally? Touring? Heading into the studio to record? How often will rehearsals be? Where will rehearsals be held? What are the other members' musical influences? What direction is the music taking? Are you replacing someone? Why is he no longer with the band?

2. Get Clear on What You're Expected to Play
Some bands may want you to learn covers, others may want you to know their originals. Be clear before your audition what songs you are expected to learn and LEARN THEM.

3. Get Clear on What Equipment To Bring
Are you auditioning in a rehearsal studio? A recording studio? A garage? Guitarists and Bassists: Do you need your full rig? Any effects pedals? Which axe will work best with the band's sound? Drummers: Do you need to bring your own kit? Snare drum? bass drum pedal? Drum throne? Any special cymbals for certain songs?

4. Get There Early
Show up 15 minutes early to allow time for setup. This also gives you the opportunity to meet the people you'll be playing with before plugging in. When you're exactly on time or late, the whole event will be rushed as many bands are on a tight schedule during auditions. The worst thing you can do is let the band wait while you run late with your setup. Being on time and prepared will often earn you extra points!

5. Watch Your Levels
The way a musician's sound and volume mix with the rest of the band is a very good indicator of his caliber of musicianship. You don't want to be so loud that you're drowning out the vocals, and you don't want to be so soft that nobody can hear what the heck you're playing. Blend appropriately with the other instruments.

6. Don't Point Out Your Mistakes
Most of the time, nobody will notice them except you - you are often your harshest critic. Drawing attention to your mistakes by constantly apologizing for them will only make you look like a hack and will quickly get on people's nerves. Sometimes when mistakes are noticed, it may just sound like you're putting your own mark on the music, and most bands are cool with that. Also, most bands understand that it may take a couple rehearsals for you to iron out all the kinks.

7. Look the Part
Duh. When auditioning for a band, look like you belong there. Dress in a way that enhances or fits in with the band's image. Bands have you audition in person, not only to hear you play, but also to see how you show up and to make sure you're a good visual fit.

8. Be Excited!
This one may sound like a no brainer, but you'd be surprised how many people are out there with rotten attitudes. A little excitement goes a long way. The thought of living in a cramped bus for three months with a guy who can't be bothered to smile is horrifying. Being genuine and enthusiastic and grateful for the opportunity to audition will, in many cases, get you a callback for a second audition. Personality goes a long way in the music industry.

9. Create Chemistry
Make it a point to meet everyone in the band and get to know as much about them as you can in the time you are given. When you're playing, play like you're part of the group, instead of some jive-ass robot jamming along to the stereo. Chemistry between band-mates is essential for a band's success and longevity. Create that feeling at your audition and you're sure to make a great impression.

10. Give the Band Time and Space to Talk About You
This one usually freaks people out. Sometimes people are sold after hearing one song, other times they need to discuss your audition before making a decision. This is perfectly reasonable. In "band speak", "we'll get back to you", means "please leave now", and it's not a bad thing. In many instances, time is tight and they have to get prepared for the next guy to audition. Instead of hanging around, simply say "thank you", and be on your way. If you're right for the band, they will call you.

To Sum Up My Evening:

I dream of car crashes

and electric fences

Heavenly bodies

with eclectic senses

Bring the stars down

and let me bow before

A tantalizing melody

to leave me wanting more...

I went to see Lukas Rossi & Stars Down at The Mint this evening. Fucking inspiring! That man's talent still blows me away. And of course it was great to see Dean on stage for a couple tunes, including one amazing cover of Pink Floyd's "Comfortably Numb".

Here's a video for those of you who need a little audio & visual stimulation:

25 Things to Remember about Record Distribution: From IndieStandard.com

1) Distributors will usually only work with labels that have been in business for at least 3 years or have at least 3 previous releases that have sold several thousand copies each.

2) Distributors get records into retail stores, and record labels get customers into retail stores through promotion and marketing tactics.

3) Make sure there is a market for your style of music. Prove it to distributors by showing them how many records you have sold through live sales, internet sales, and any other alternative methods.

4) Be prepared to sign a written contract with your distributor because there are no 'handshake deals' anymore.

5) Distributors want 'exclusive' agreements with the labels they choose to work with. They usually want to represent you exclusively.

6) You will sell your product to a distributor for close to 50% of the retail list price.

7) When searching for a distributor find out what labels they represent, and talk to some of those labels to find out how well the distributor did getting records into retailers.

8) Investigate the distributor's financial status. Many label have closed down in recent years, and you cannot afford to get attached to a distributor that may not be able to pay its invoices.

9) Find out if the distributor has a sales staff , and how large it is. Then get to know the sales reps.

10) What commitment will the distributor make to help get your records into stores?

11) Is the distributor truly a national distributor, or only a regional distributor with ambitions to be a national distributor. Many large chain stores will only work with national distributors.

12) Expect the distributor to request that you remove any product you have on consignment in stores so that they can be the one to service retailers.

13) Make sure that your distributor has the ability to help you setup various retail promotions such as: coop advertising (where you must be prepared to pay the costs of media ads for select retailers), in-store artist appearances, in-store listening station programs, and furnishing POP's (point of purchase posters and other graphics).

14) Be aware that as a new label you will have to offer a distributor 100% on returns of your product.

15) You must bear all the costs of any distribution and retail promotions.

16) Be able to furnish the distributor with hundreds of 'Distributor One Sheets' (Attractively designed summary sheets describing your promotion and marketing commitments. Include barcodes, list price, picture of the album cover, and catalog numbers of your product too).

17) Distributors may ask for hundreds of free promotional copies of your release to give to the buyers at the retail stores.

18) Make sure all promotional copies have a hole punched in the barcode, and that they are not shrink-wrapped. This will prevent any unnecessary returns of your product.

19) Don't expect a distributor to pay your invoices in full or on time. You will always be owed something by the distributor because of the delay between orders sent, invoices received, time payment schedules (50-120 days per invoice) and whether or not your product has sold through, or returns are pending.

20) Create a relationship that is a true partnership between your label and the distributor.

21) Keep the distributor updated on any and all promotion and marketing plans and results, as they develop.

22) Be well financed. Trying to work with distributors without a realistic budget to participate in promotional opportunities would be a big mistake.

23) Your distributor will only be as good as your marketing plans to sell the record. Don't expect them to do your work for you, remember all they do is get records into the stores.

24) Read the trades, especially Billboard for weekly news on the health of the industry, and/or the status of your distributor.

25) Work your product relentlessly on as many fronts as possible…commercial and non commercial airplay, internet airplay and sales campaigns, on and offline publicity ideas, and touring…eternally touring!

Independence Day: The Gonzo Way

I celebrated Independence Day by paying homage to the man who fought for my right to fly the Freak Flag: Hunter S. Thompson.



There is an extreme scarcity of leaders who I regard as true patriots, and who actually garner my respect. Thompson was a man who understood and lived from the essence of the American character the way few people ever do. "Freedom is something that dies unless it's used", he said. And I believe that in times like these, it is imperative that we use our freedom.

To me, Thompson represents everything that is definitively American. He is a constant reminder that one person can in fact make a difference, inspiring a culture of free thinkers and encouraging immediate action to create the world we want to live in now.

Go see Gonzo: The Life and Work of Dr. Hunter S. Thompson and fly your flag high!!!