My Life in the Rock n' Roll Circus.

Tonight Breaker played an open rehearsal/showcase for a few peeps who we trusted to give us some real feedback. We ran through our set, rocked 8 songs, and then opened it up for critiques. First of all, rocking out in front of an audience - albeit a small one - felt freakin' good. Second, the feedback was really positive and supported us in finding our "Point A" so to speak. The set needs some tweaking, although it was interesting to hear the differing opinions: Some people liked the more groove-oriented songs, while others were all about the rockers; some people thought we should conform to something more pop-esque and hook-ladened, while others said "hell no - jam out with your clam out".

It reaffirmed for me that I am on the right path and that I have zero interest in being another cookie-cutter "girl" singer. Shit, we women take a lot of heat and face a lot of judgement in music. The music of Breaker sounds masculine, and apparently some people aren't down with the dichotomy of a woman fronting it all. That blend of masculine and feminine energy is precisely what I love about Breaker, and I'd love to smash the stereotype of "chick singers" to hell.

After the showcase, we headed down to Cafe Cordiale to catch Dilana's acoustic set. Not only was her performance amazing, but she was also rad enough to give Breaker a shout-out! I admit, it made me blush. I am so into her music right now. She's got a soulful, husky voice a la Janis Joplin, but with a more delicate touch and a smooth top-end. Her enormous talent is matched by her beautiful personality...I love it when that happens.

Check out this video of Dilana's song, "My Drug":

A Nice Surprise from the NY Rangers.

Just as I was getting out of the shower this morning, there was a knock at the door. Before I could make it to the door, I heard the familiar rumble of the big brown truck as it drove away. I peeked outside and picked up the package that was addressed to Gadget and sent from Hollywood Records.

"Babe, you got something from Hollywood Records", I told Gadget, both confused and curious as to what was lurking inside.

"Nope, You got something from Hollywood Records", he told me.

I had nearly forgotten that months ago Joey from Hollywood Records told me he'd send me a jersey signed by the NY Rangers, my most favorite NHL team. I tore the package open to discover the glory stored within:



Shocking as it was to see pink instead of red, white, and blue, it's grown on me. Now I won't look so dykey when I'm cheering on the Rangers!

I love getting presents, and getting them for no particular reason other than being my awesome self is THE BEST!

Good Times Around Town: Hollywood

Good times around town...seems like I've been having a lot of those lately.

Tonight Mystic Diva, Nsa, Conor, Will, and I hit up the Congregation of Forgotten Saints for "Artcore: Reinterpreting Sainthood at the Altar of Rock". In addition to housing one of the coolest clothing collections ever, they also throw the best parties ever: Awesome art, cool people, free vino, and a fucking confessional! For those who have not been, heard, or seen, Congregation of Forgotten Saints is world-renowned for its handmade and one-of-kind designs. Lead by Owner and Designer Cody Varona, CFS straddles the edge of art and rock n' roll. Their clothes have been essential for styling a menagerie of music icons such as Alice Cooper, Slipknot, Motley Crue, Sixx:A.M., Buckcherry, and Breaker.






After Forgotten Saints, we headed over to the Whisky, where we met up with Curtis, to see Lunarclick and Otto's Daughter. Of course, no Breaker outing would be complete without a little rock n' roll rowdiness, and thankfully Conor took care of that when he threw a cup full of ice at two guys who were exceedingly rude. They tackled him to the ground and got thrown out by the bouncer. I was proud of Conor for his bad behavior. It's the Breaker sensibility.

Around midnight, we made our way to the best pizza this side of the LA River, Frankie and Johnny's. Will proceeded to humiliate himself (and amuse me) by putting the moves on Nsa. After he told her that her 2-year-old niece would grow up to be a stripper, he pulled the old I-look-like-I'm-yawning-but-I'm-really-putting-my-arm-around-you move. It was glorious. We wound down with some good ol' fashioned DOC-talk, Kanye West, and Berkley-bashing.

It was a really good night.

Good Times Around Town: Trashy Lingerie

A wife, a mother, and a divorcee walk into a lingerie store...

Today Mystic Diva, Sacred Diva, and I went on a little mission: Buy Sacred Diva some sexy lingerie! "Why?" you might wonder. Because when she wears it, she gets more of what she wants. And that's reason enough! I figured we might as well start at the Mecca: Trashy Lingerie in West Hollywood. Sure, it's pricey as hell, but no lingerie-acquiring-mission would be complete without a trip to Trashy.

After buying a membership, pawing through the racks, and trying on countless items, Sacred still had no new lingerie. It was all either too big, too small, or just didn't fit right. We sat in the back parking lot before determining our next destination and had some girl talk. You know the kind, the kind about men - all the men we had been with, what we've learned, what works, what doesn't, what's good, and what you should avoid like the plague. It was uplifting, to say the least and we decided, "we must go on!"

I suggested Victoria's Secret, and then Mystic one-upped me by mentioning Frederick's of Hollywood. We hauled ass across town and then after a lengthy parking debacle, made it in to the mini-Mecca. It was clear upon arrival that Sacred's lingerie was in Frederick's! Pressed for time, as I had a Breaker rehearsal to get to only one block south of Frederick's, I left Mystic and Sacred to sort it out themselves.

The girls came by the studio to sit in on a few songs, and from what I saw it was a pretty successful mission: Sacred got $300 worth of wearable goodies. Undoubtedly, that translates into countless days and nights of getting what she wants. And, honey, there ain't no way to put a price tage on that!

The Return of Mr. Riverside

Ever since that unexpected run-in around Christmas time, Mr. Riverside has been lingering around the outskirts of my life. And I believe I have discovered why.

You see, I wasn't through with the past (and it certainly wasn't through with me) because there were still lessons to be learned and songs to be sung.

What I have learned: It is not Mr. Riverside's himself that truly matters; it is what he represents. He is a messenger of sorts, The Universe's not-so-subtle way of telling me to take a look at what's going on in my life. He represents two things to me; the first being FUN. Crazy and chaotic as it might have been, it was always fun. The second representation is a bit harder to explain...He is on the outside, many of the things I only am on the inside: death-obsessed, extreme, and somewhat psychotic.

My solution: Be and have more FUN. Allow myself to bring all of myself to the party: it's okay that I run a blog writing about dead people; I'm allowed to outwardly love and hate things; and spending the day at Hogwarts is perfectly reasonable.

I believe now that I understand, and am putting into practice what I have learned, that Mr. Riverside will go away.

Lift up your hearts. We lift them up to the iguana.

Bring it On: Volume II

I looked into the eyes
Of an ideal I despise
I kissed the lips of certainty
And I kissed them goodbye

A road less traveled calls my name
And the thrill just fans my flame
When the pangs of regret rise up,
it's my turn to get tough

Take me for a ride
And the fear is long gone
If pain keeps us strong,
Don't tell me when, just bring it on!

So hard to satisfy
A desire as intense as mine
I'm driven by a dream
That nearly drives me to the edge

The bet is on and the stakes are high
And the risk keeps me alive
Give me love in gilded cages
Or give me wings and watch me soar

What, do you still want more?

Take me for a ride
And the fear is long gone
If pain keeps us strong,
Don't tell me when, just bring it on!

...Kissed the lips of certainty goodbye
The bet is on and the stakes are high...

What, do you still want more?

Take me for a ride
And the fear is long gone
If pain keeps us strong,
Don't tell me when, just bring it on!

Bring it On: Volume I

Writing lyrics is usually a solo venture of mine, and next to performing live, it is my favorite aspect of the whole (in)glorious process that is making music. Creating lyrics is my opportunity to transfer my feelings from my head & heart to the world at large. It's my chance to translate those feelings into real, relatable topics that make people go, "yeah, me too".

There are rare instances, however, when someone else's lyrics make me go, "yeah, me too" and we get to collaborate on something bigger than both of us. "Bring it On" is one of those rare instances.

My brother, Dan, had this poem that would get stuck in my head, and it was something I'd silently recite to myself:

Take me for a ride
and it's all long gone.
The fear is all that keeps us sane
If it's pain that keeps us strong,
Don't tell me when, just bring it on.

It was one of those scraps that hadn't yet been brought to life by a song. During pro-production, when I heard the riff that was to become "Bring it On", I felt the same onslaught of feelings that Dan's poem brought forth.

I saw myself standing before two divergent paths, knowing that one would bring me happiness, plain and simple; and the other, well the other held the promise of excessive amounts of fun, high doses of ecstasy, non-stop adventure, and all the pleasure that a grrrl like me could crave, only it was far more challenging and there would be swarms of people along the way telling me to turn back: it was a journey too long and hard for me to make, or worse yet, that seeking such fulfillment was merely a fool's errand.

So...which path do you think I took?

Check out my next post to find out ;)

I am Obsessed with Step Brothers.

For whatever cockamamy reason, I did not go Step Brothers when it was out in theaters. I did, however, just get it on DVD.

John C. Reilly is one of my favorite supporting actors, although my appreciation for him was previously based strictly on his serious roles such as Officer Jim in Magnolia, Reed Rothchild in Boogie Nights, and Amos Hart in Chicago among others. Of course I loved him in Talladega Nights, but apparently not enough to go see Step Brothers. And Will Ferrell - Oh, don't even get me started. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE him starting from way back in his SNL days.

Anyway, now that I've seen Step Brothers, I have a new arsenal of insults to sling at people (mostly my bandmates) and more laughter in my life - and who doesn't want that? I think I'm gonna' go watch it again.