The Return of Mr. Riverside

Ever since that unexpected run-in around Christmas time, Mr. Riverside has been lingering around the outskirts of my life. And I believe I have discovered why.

You see, I wasn't through with the past (and it certainly wasn't through with me) because there were still lessons to be learned and songs to be sung.

What I have learned: It is not Mr. Riverside's himself that truly matters; it is what he represents. He is a messenger of sorts, The Universe's not-so-subtle way of telling me to take a look at what's going on in my life. He represents two things to me; the first being FUN. Crazy and chaotic as it might have been, it was always fun. The second representation is a bit harder to explain...He is on the outside, many of the things I only am on the inside: death-obsessed, extreme, and somewhat psychotic.

My solution: Be and have more FUN. Allow myself to bring all of myself to the party: it's okay that I run a blog writing about dead people; I'm allowed to outwardly love and hate things; and spending the day at Hogwarts is perfectly reasonable.

I believe now that I understand, and am putting into practice what I have learned, that Mr. Riverside will go away.

Lift up your hearts. We lift them up to the iguana.

Riverside.

This place is a death trap.

I went to a party in Riverside Saturday night. I should have known better than to think it would be "safe". You see, I dated a dude from Riverside. He was shipped off to military-land over three years ago, and hasn't been back since, so I didn't expect to see him at this innocent little Christmas gathering.  

So much for that.

Shocking as it was at first, we got to talking, and singing, and laughing, and the whole while I wasn't raging shit-faced drunk. That was a big accomplishment for me! Talking and singing and laughing led me to thinking, and reflecting, and remembering and that's where the real trouble lies...

And the book says, "We may be through with the past, but the past ain't through with us".

TENFOLD TRUE: Volume I

I received an amazing birthday present today: Mix Draft 1 of "Tenfold True", a song that holds my heart hostage like no other. 

Part of what  I love about music is the opportunity it provides to connect with other people to create something bigger than any of us could create individually. Music is a true testament to the magic and infinite possibilities of synergy. This song is the result of such synergy: 

When I was a seventeen years old my best friend, Mike (who now plays guitar in the Long Island-based rock band, Tenstrong), introduced me to Paul. While there are many things I could say about Paul, what's relevant is this: He was the spark that ignited this song. One fateful evening he picked me up from my friend's house at nearly 4 a.m. for some late-night nosh and booze-fueled conversation. I'll never forget riding in his "roller coaster" Jeep - the passenger seat wasn't secure on its track, so it would roll back and forth, slamming from front to back as we drove. We sat in the parking lot of the Forum Diner shootin' the shit as the sun rose until he finally mustered up enough courage to talk to me about what he had dragged me out of bed at 4 a.m. to talk about: the sucker had a crush on me! And that's when it happened: "Fate squats shyly on the tip of my tongue", I silently said to myself. Paul wasn't the boy I had a boner for. It was his friend Luke that I liked..."as the frame of your faith crumbles to dust".

That morning, as soon as I made it back to my notebook, I scribbled down the lines that had been repeatedly racing through my mind. And thus, the verses for "Tenfold True" came to be. It took nearly six years for those verses to see the light of day.

More to come. . .